Bureau of Demon Affairs CH2
Chapter 2: The Venerable Lord
“The main issue is the spiritual density in the mortal realm. It’s too low,” Duan Zhiyan explained. “The Venerable Lord couldn't adapt quickly enough, leading to that momentary lapse in control. But he’s fine now.”
No wonder the demons in the Bureau look half-dead, Zhou Xun thought. It turns out we have a high-powered vacuum cleaner wandering the halls.
Currently, Zhou Xun was sitting in the office of Director Lu Dewei, her posture stiff and her hands resting dutifully on her knees. Across from her sat the man in the grey suit and gold-rimmed glasses. He was handsome, but currently struggling to maintain a professional composure as he looked at her.
"Zhou Xun, you really are something," Duan Zhiyan said, a mix of amusement and disbelief in his voice. "We haven't seen each other since graduation, and you still managed to leave quite an impression."
Zhou Xun hung her head. Who would have guessed that on her first day back from leave, she’d take down her superior with a flying head-scissors? Then again, what kind of legitimate deity has a public meltdown in an office like some crazed fugitive?
"Senior Duan, please stop teasing me. It happened so fast... it was just a reflex..."
She and Duan Zhiyan had graduated from the same university and the same major, only a year apart. They had been on good terms, but after graduation, one went to the Bureau of Demon Affairs and the other to the Bureau of Divine Affairs, and they had drifted apart.
"Venerable Lord!!" the Director wailed, half-kneeling by the sofa. He was frantically waving a file folder to fan the deity, who was currently lying flat with his eyes tightly shut.
Hearing Director Lu’s lament, Zhou Xun opened her mouth to speak but thought better of it.
The deity on the sofa was dressed in black ancient robes with wide, flowing sleeves. A jade pendant hung from his waist, and he wore a gold-and-jade crown atop his head. His face, however, was the real showstopper. Zhou Xun used to think Duan Zhiyan was the most attractive man she knew, but seeing this Immortal was a true eye-opener.
The Immortal Lord possessed a face of jade-like elegance and skin as white as fresh snow. His long lashes were currently trembling like cicada wings. Zhou Xun had a nagging feeling he was already awake—was he just pretending to be unconscious because he didn't want to open his eyes and face the embarrassment?
Duan Zhiyan watched Zhou Xun with a faint, calculating smile. After a moment, he turned to the anxious Director. "In my opinion, Zhou Xun is the perfect candidate for this assignment."
"Huh?" Both Zhou Xun and the Director gasped in unison.
Duan Zhiyan stood up and patted Zhou Xun on the shoulder. "I'm your senior, would I ever lead you astray?"
The Director wiped the sweat from his brow and hurried over, pinning Zhou Xun's other shoulder. "Divine Envoy, surely you’re joking? While Detective Zhou was handpicked by our former Director and is a top-tier investigator... receiving the Immortal Lord is a monumental task. And Zhou Xun, as you’ve seen..."
The Director left the rest unsaid: Zhou Xun’s social IQ was the polar opposite of her investigative talent. She was the type of employee who would spin the lazy Susan just as the boss was reaching for a dish, or slam on the brakes just as the leader was trying to take a sip of water.
Duan Zhiyan let out a performative sigh. "However, every other demon employee in your Bureau is paralyzed by the Venerable Lord’s overbearing aura."
The "Venerable Lord" on the sofa twitched his long lashes again.
Zhou Xun shrugged off both of their hands and stood up, her guard fully up. "I’m not doing it."
The Director threw his hands up as if to say, See? Look at her!
Duan Zhiyan remained unruffled. "Zhou Xun, this is a dream job that many people would beg for. Do it well, and you’ll earn massive merit and open up a fast track for promotion. Besides, you just kicked an Immortal Lord so hard he can’t get up. You have to resolve that karma yourself."
The word "karma" made Zhou Xun break into a cold sweat.
"But I'm a criminal investigator! I handle murder cases," she muttered, scratching her head. "I don't know the first thing about being a Divine Envoy."
Duan Zhiyan lowered his voice. "It's simple. This Immortal Lord is visiting the lower realm for the first time. His understanding of the world is... a bit outdated. Your job is to show him around and help him get used to the modern human society. At the end, just conduct an evaluation and write a report."
Zhou Xun caught the subtext immediately. "So, I’m a babysitter."
"Detective Zhou!" the Director barked, looking as if he wanted to cover the Immortal Lord's ears.
"Haha, if you want to look at it that way, sure."
Zhou Xun frowned and walked over to the sofa. The three of them stood in a row, staring down at the deity as if they were admiring a museum mummy.
At that moment, the "Sleeping Beauty" could no longer maintain the act. The Immortal Lord snapped his eyes open and sat bolt upright. His pale green eyes were wide, glowing with the sharp alertness of a feline.
Zhou Xun swallowed hard. If he lost his temper, should she apologize immediately?
However, the previously violent Immortal Lord had gone quiet, seemingly having regained his reason. He flicked his long sleeves, releasing a faint, herbal fragrance.
"Hahaha!" the Immortal Lord boomed. "Under which master does this young maiden train? Where do you cultivate? Such exquisite techniques, such magnificent skill! In several millennia, few have been able to trade blows with ben zuo." [1]
This guy speaks like he’s in a period movie, Zhou Xun thought.
He’d been taken down in a single move, but she certainly wasn't going to point that out.
The Director joined in with a forced laugh. "The Venerable Lord is truly magnanimous! Your presence here today brings unparalleled glory to our Bureau! Hahaha!"
Duan Zhiyan added a gentle smile. "Indeed. This partnership between the Demon and Divine Bureaus is a historic milestone. We are all deeply indebted."
The three men laughed together in a hollow display of bureaucracy. Zhou Xun just crossed her arms, letting out a dry, singular 'aha'.
The matter was settled in a blur of confusion. Zhou Xun realized she had been tricked into a difficult situation. Duan Zhiyan insisted on a "Binding Ceremony"—which sounded intimidating, but just involved rolling up her sleeve for a spell. Her purple floral pajama sleeve made a grand appearance as a warm sensation spread across the inside of her right arm. Duan Zhiyan explained that she would now be able to track the Immortal Lord's movements at all times.
This isn't a babysitter role, she realized. It's a parole officer role.
Once it was finished, a male colleague of Duan Zhiyan pulled out a phone for a group photo.
"Come on, everyone, gather round! Detective Zhou, give us a smile!"
Zhou Xun’s lip twitched, she was nowhere near a smile.
"That's it, Zhiyan, lean in a bit. Perfect!"
Duan Zhiyan stepped smoothly to Zhou Xun’s side, adjusting his gold glasses with a polite, gentle smile.
"Director Lu, you don't need to smile that hard!"
Director Lu’s grin was so wide it nearly reached the back of his head. He was ecstatic, this was the first time a real deity had descended to the lower realm, and the Bureau of Demon Affairs was going to be the talk of the town.
"Venerable Lord? Please, look over here at the little box in my hand."
The photographer waved the phone like a cat teaser, trying to catch the deity’s attention. The shutter clicked, the flash went off, and the black-robed Immortal Lord recoiled, his neck shrinking back and his eyes going wide with shock.
"Sorry, forgot to turn off the flash."
When Zhou Xun looked at the photo, she saw her purple pajamas peeking out from her collar, sleeves, and boots. It was… a look. The Immortal Lord's eyes were reflecting the flash with an eerie glow. The Director looked like a maniac, and only Senior Duan Zhiyan looked clean and professional.
With the formalities finished, Director Lu eagerly offered to show the Immortal Lord around the Bureau. Surrounded by the group, the deity looked utterly bewildered, glancing left and right as they led him out. Finally, only Zhou Xun and Duan Zhiyan were left in the office.
"What exactly did this Immortal Lord do wrong?" Zhou Xun asked, cutting straight to the point.
Duan Zhiyan blinked, then gave a bitter laugh. "Still as sharp as ever. Well, you aren't wrong to ask. Do you know his name?"
Zhou Xun shook her head. She hadn't touched those group chat files.
"The General of the East Sea—Shen Gongbao."
"Ah." The realization hit her. Instantly, every myth, movie, and cartoon image of Shen Gongbao as a wretched, scheming, shadow-dwelling villain came flooding back.
This wasn't just "doing something wrong". This was a legendary villain. Her textbooks had taught her that since the beginning of time, gods, humans, and demons had coexisted. Then came the Great War of the Investiture between Yuanshi Tianzun, who fought for humanity, and Tongtian Jiaozhu, who fought for the demons. Yuanshi’s side won, ushering in the Era of Humanity. Shen Gongbao had started as Yuanshi’s disciple but betrayed his sect to cause chaos, only to be granted a divine title in the end to pacify him.
Zhou Xun looked through the glass partition at Shen Gongbao’s profile. It was a truly magnificent face. She found it hard to reconcile that image with the legendary "Shit-Stirrer"[2] of the heavens.
"So, is he out on parole, or has he served his full sentence?"
"Let's call it 'time served,'" Duan Zhiyan coughed. "But, Zhou Xun... I think you should still show him at least a baseline of respect."
"Oh, right. Of course." She knew many deities were notoriously petty.
"That’s why I think you’re the best fit for this."
Zhou Xun nodded. "Right. I’m used to dealing with career criminals."
Duan Zhiyan raised an eyebrow.
Zhou Xun tapped her forehead. "Right! Respect! Respect!"
"Look, I'll send you some files on the proper protocol for hosting a deity. I know it’s a lot, so I’ll talk to Director Lu about keeping things low-profile for now."
"Fine."
Back at her desk on the third floor, she was bombarded with dozens of documents covering everything from Shen Gongbao’s diet to his sleeping habits. After skimming a few pages, she slumped over her desk, cradling her head.
"Huh? Captain Zhou? Why are you back so early?" Miao Wu, a team member who had just returned from a paid bathroom break, looked shocked. In his book, having a chance to slack off and not taking it was a sign of mental illness.
"Great question. I’m currently regretting every life choice that led me here."
Miao Wu leaned in, his eyes going wide as he saw the files on her screen.
"Holy mother of gods... Captain, you took down the Immortal Lord?!"
"What do you mean 'took down'? Miao Wu, please show some respect to the Venerable Lord."
Miao Wu grinned, pulling his chair over. "You have no idea. Section Chief Kong was supposed to host him, but when the Divine Envoy brought him in this morning... man, every demon in the building lost it. I've had the runs all morning, and Chief Kong actually started reverting to his true form because he couldn't hold his breath anymore..."
Their little temple had certainly welcomed a formidable Buddha. [3]
"It’s a shame Captain Du wasn't here. I would’ve loved to see him start barking!"
As everyone knew, cats and dogs never got along.
"Stop laughing. Is the report finished?" Zhou Xun clicked her mouse, her expression deadpan.
Miao Wu checked his phone. "Almost. But it’s lunchtime, should I order out or hit the canteen?"
Zhou Xun sighed. This guy acted like the world would end if he worked a single second overtime.
A while later, as Miao Wu was happily munching on fried chicken, Director Lu appeared at the office door with Shen Gongbao in tow. Miao Wu was so startled he dropped his chicken leg. He swallowed hard, looking at Zhou Xun’s calm face. "You really are fine. You humans are terrifying."
The Director, also a human, was busy babbling in an attempt to flatter the immortal.
"Venerable Lord, perhaps I should show you to your accommodations?" Lu Dewei smiled.
The Immortal Lord shook his head like a rattle. "No. You are too noisy."
The Director’s smile didn't waver. He waved Zhou Xun over. "Xiao Zhou, you’re off the clock. Take the Venerable Lord to see the sights of Baihe City. Let him sample our local delicacies, then get him settled at the guest house. Let him rest, and we’ll have a welcome banquet tonight!"
The thought of a banquet with the boss made Zhou Xun’s blood pressure spike. Between that and a cold trail on a murder case, it was a toss-up for what she hated more.
The Director made his exit, leaving the Immortal Lord Shen Gongbao standing there, his hands tucked into his sleeves, waiting patiently.
Translator's Notes:
The protagonist, Jiang Ziya, was a wise and patient old man who follows the "righteous" path of the Primeval Lord of Heaven. The antagonist, Shen Gongbao, was his fellow apprentice. He is younger, more talented, and infinitely more arrogant. He became jealous after their master chose Jiang Ziya to lead the mission, so he defected to the "evil" side to cause as much chaos as possible.
Shen Gongbao’s most famous weapon isn't a sword; it’s his mouth. His catchphrase is: "Fellow Daoist, please stay a moment" (道友请留步). In Chinese pop culture, this is considered a "death curse." Whenever Shen Gongbao says this to a fellow immortal, he is about to trick them into joining a losing battle against the protagonists. Almost everyone who listened to him ended up dead or stripped of their powers.
In a famous scene to prove his "power," Shen Gongbao actually cuts off his own head, throws it into the air, and makes it fly back onto his neck. This highlights his unorthodox and creepy nature—he doesn't follow the clean, traditional rules of immortality.
After losing the war, he was punished by being stuffed into the "Eye of the North Sea" to plug a leak. Eventually, he was granted a low-level title: General of the East Sea. Essentially, he was given a "desk job" in the middle of nowhere to keep him from talking to people and causing more chaos.
Like the author of this novel mentioned before, this story isn't just about myths and solving supernatural crimes. This novel is basically a modern spin-off of the ancient legendary villain, Shen Gongbao, as he slowly adjusts to modern society.
“The main issue is the spiritual density in the mortal realm. It’s too low,” Duan Zhiyan explained. “The Venerable Lord couldn't adapt quickly enough, leading to that momentary lapse in control. But he’s fine now.”
No wonder the demons in the Bureau look half-dead, Zhou Xun thought. It turns out we have a high-powered vacuum cleaner wandering the halls.
Currently, Zhou Xun was sitting in the office of Director Lu Dewei, her posture stiff and her hands resting dutifully on her knees. Across from her sat the man in the grey suit and gold-rimmed glasses. He was handsome, but currently struggling to maintain a professional composure as he looked at her.
"Zhou Xun, you really are something," Duan Zhiyan said, a mix of amusement and disbelief in his voice. "We haven't seen each other since graduation, and you still managed to leave quite an impression."
Zhou Xun hung her head. Who would have guessed that on her first day back from leave, she’d take down her superior with a flying head-scissors? Then again, what kind of legitimate deity has a public meltdown in an office like some crazed fugitive?
"Senior Duan, please stop teasing me. It happened so fast... it was just a reflex..."
She and Duan Zhiyan had graduated from the same university and the same major, only a year apart. They had been on good terms, but after graduation, one went to the Bureau of Demon Affairs and the other to the Bureau of Divine Affairs, and they had drifted apart.
"Venerable Lord!!" the Director wailed, half-kneeling by the sofa. He was frantically waving a file folder to fan the deity, who was currently lying flat with his eyes tightly shut.
Hearing Director Lu’s lament, Zhou Xun opened her mouth to speak but thought better of it.
The deity on the sofa was dressed in black ancient robes with wide, flowing sleeves. A jade pendant hung from his waist, and he wore a gold-and-jade crown atop his head. His face, however, was the real showstopper. Zhou Xun used to think Duan Zhiyan was the most attractive man she knew, but seeing this Immortal was a true eye-opener.
The Immortal Lord possessed a face of jade-like elegance and skin as white as fresh snow. His long lashes were currently trembling like cicada wings. Zhou Xun had a nagging feeling he was already awake—was he just pretending to be unconscious because he didn't want to open his eyes and face the embarrassment?
Duan Zhiyan watched Zhou Xun with a faint, calculating smile. After a moment, he turned to the anxious Director. "In my opinion, Zhou Xun is the perfect candidate for this assignment."
"Huh?" Both Zhou Xun and the Director gasped in unison.
Duan Zhiyan stood up and patted Zhou Xun on the shoulder. "I'm your senior, would I ever lead you astray?"
The Director wiped the sweat from his brow and hurried over, pinning Zhou Xun's other shoulder. "Divine Envoy, surely you’re joking? While Detective Zhou was handpicked by our former Director and is a top-tier investigator... receiving the Immortal Lord is a monumental task. And Zhou Xun, as you’ve seen..."
The Director left the rest unsaid: Zhou Xun’s social IQ was the polar opposite of her investigative talent. She was the type of employee who would spin the lazy Susan just as the boss was reaching for a dish, or slam on the brakes just as the leader was trying to take a sip of water.
Duan Zhiyan let out a performative sigh. "However, every other demon employee in your Bureau is paralyzed by the Venerable Lord’s overbearing aura."
The "Venerable Lord" on the sofa twitched his long lashes again.
Zhou Xun shrugged off both of their hands and stood up, her guard fully up. "I’m not doing it."
The Director threw his hands up as if to say, See? Look at her!
Duan Zhiyan remained unruffled. "Zhou Xun, this is a dream job that many people would beg for. Do it well, and you’ll earn massive merit and open up a fast track for promotion. Besides, you just kicked an Immortal Lord so hard he can’t get up. You have to resolve that karma yourself."
The word "karma" made Zhou Xun break into a cold sweat.
"But I'm a criminal investigator! I handle murder cases," she muttered, scratching her head. "I don't know the first thing about being a Divine Envoy."
Duan Zhiyan lowered his voice. "It's simple. This Immortal Lord is visiting the lower realm for the first time. His understanding of the world is... a bit outdated. Your job is to show him around and help him get used to the modern human society. At the end, just conduct an evaluation and write a report."
Zhou Xun caught the subtext immediately. "So, I’m a babysitter."
"Detective Zhou!" the Director barked, looking as if he wanted to cover the Immortal Lord's ears.
"Haha, if you want to look at it that way, sure."
Zhou Xun frowned and walked over to the sofa. The three of them stood in a row, staring down at the deity as if they were admiring a museum mummy.
At that moment, the "Sleeping Beauty" could no longer maintain the act. The Immortal Lord snapped his eyes open and sat bolt upright. His pale green eyes were wide, glowing with the sharp alertness of a feline.
Zhou Xun swallowed hard. If he lost his temper, should she apologize immediately?
However, the previously violent Immortal Lord had gone quiet, seemingly having regained his reason. He flicked his long sleeves, releasing a faint, herbal fragrance.
"Hahaha!" the Immortal Lord boomed. "Under which master does this young maiden train? Where do you cultivate? Such exquisite techniques, such magnificent skill! In several millennia, few have been able to trade blows with ben zuo." [1]
This guy speaks like he’s in a period movie, Zhou Xun thought.
He’d been taken down in a single move, but she certainly wasn't going to point that out.
The Director joined in with a forced laugh. "The Venerable Lord is truly magnanimous! Your presence here today brings unparalleled glory to our Bureau! Hahaha!"
Duan Zhiyan added a gentle smile. "Indeed. This partnership between the Demon and Divine Bureaus is a historic milestone. We are all deeply indebted."
The three men laughed together in a hollow display of bureaucracy. Zhou Xun just crossed her arms, letting out a dry, singular 'aha'.
The matter was settled in a blur of confusion. Zhou Xun realized she had been tricked into a difficult situation. Duan Zhiyan insisted on a "Binding Ceremony"—which sounded intimidating, but just involved rolling up her sleeve for a spell. Her purple floral pajama sleeve made a grand appearance as a warm sensation spread across the inside of her right arm. Duan Zhiyan explained that she would now be able to track the Immortal Lord's movements at all times.
This isn't a babysitter role, she realized. It's a parole officer role.
Once it was finished, a male colleague of Duan Zhiyan pulled out a phone for a group photo.
"Come on, everyone, gather round! Detective Zhou, give us a smile!"
Zhou Xun’s lip twitched, she was nowhere near a smile.
"That's it, Zhiyan, lean in a bit. Perfect!"
Duan Zhiyan stepped smoothly to Zhou Xun’s side, adjusting his gold glasses with a polite, gentle smile.
"Director Lu, you don't need to smile that hard!"
Director Lu’s grin was so wide it nearly reached the back of his head. He was ecstatic, this was the first time a real deity had descended to the lower realm, and the Bureau of Demon Affairs was going to be the talk of the town.
"Venerable Lord? Please, look over here at the little box in my hand."
The photographer waved the phone like a cat teaser, trying to catch the deity’s attention. The shutter clicked, the flash went off, and the black-robed Immortal Lord recoiled, his neck shrinking back and his eyes going wide with shock.
"Sorry, forgot to turn off the flash."
When Zhou Xun looked at the photo, she saw her purple pajamas peeking out from her collar, sleeves, and boots. It was… a look. The Immortal Lord's eyes were reflecting the flash with an eerie glow. The Director looked like a maniac, and only Senior Duan Zhiyan looked clean and professional.
With the formalities finished, Director Lu eagerly offered to show the Immortal Lord around the Bureau. Surrounded by the group, the deity looked utterly bewildered, glancing left and right as they led him out. Finally, only Zhou Xun and Duan Zhiyan were left in the office.
"What exactly did this Immortal Lord do wrong?" Zhou Xun asked, cutting straight to the point.
Duan Zhiyan blinked, then gave a bitter laugh. "Still as sharp as ever. Well, you aren't wrong to ask. Do you know his name?"
Zhou Xun shook her head. She hadn't touched those group chat files.
"The General of the East Sea—Shen Gongbao."
"Ah." The realization hit her. Instantly, every myth, movie, and cartoon image of Shen Gongbao as a wretched, scheming, shadow-dwelling villain came flooding back.
This wasn't just "doing something wrong". This was a legendary villain. Her textbooks had taught her that since the beginning of time, gods, humans, and demons had coexisted. Then came the Great War of the Investiture between Yuanshi Tianzun, who fought for humanity, and Tongtian Jiaozhu, who fought for the demons. Yuanshi’s side won, ushering in the Era of Humanity. Shen Gongbao had started as Yuanshi’s disciple but betrayed his sect to cause chaos, only to be granted a divine title in the end to pacify him.
Zhou Xun looked through the glass partition at Shen Gongbao’s profile. It was a truly magnificent face. She found it hard to reconcile that image with the legendary "Shit-Stirrer"[2] of the heavens.
"So, is he out on parole, or has he served his full sentence?"
"Let's call it 'time served,'" Duan Zhiyan coughed. "But, Zhou Xun... I think you should still show him at least a baseline of respect."
"Oh, right. Of course." She knew many deities were notoriously petty.
"That’s why I think you’re the best fit for this."
Zhou Xun nodded. "Right. I’m used to dealing with career criminals."
Duan Zhiyan raised an eyebrow.
Zhou Xun tapped her forehead. "Right! Respect! Respect!"
"Look, I'll send you some files on the proper protocol for hosting a deity. I know it’s a lot, so I’ll talk to Director Lu about keeping things low-profile for now."
"Fine."
Back at her desk on the third floor, she was bombarded with dozens of documents covering everything from Shen Gongbao’s diet to his sleeping habits. After skimming a few pages, she slumped over her desk, cradling her head.
"Huh? Captain Zhou? Why are you back so early?" Miao Wu, a team member who had just returned from a paid bathroom break, looked shocked. In his book, having a chance to slack off and not taking it was a sign of mental illness.
"Great question. I’m currently regretting every life choice that led me here."
Miao Wu leaned in, his eyes going wide as he saw the files on her screen.
"Holy mother of gods... Captain, you took down the Immortal Lord?!"
"What do you mean 'took down'? Miao Wu, please show some respect to the Venerable Lord."
Miao Wu grinned, pulling his chair over. "You have no idea. Section Chief Kong was supposed to host him, but when the Divine Envoy brought him in this morning... man, every demon in the building lost it. I've had the runs all morning, and Chief Kong actually started reverting to his true form because he couldn't hold his breath anymore..."
Their little temple had certainly welcomed a formidable Buddha. [3]
"It’s a shame Captain Du wasn't here. I would’ve loved to see him start barking!"
As everyone knew, cats and dogs never got along.
"Stop laughing. Is the report finished?" Zhou Xun clicked her mouse, her expression deadpan.
Miao Wu checked his phone. "Almost. But it’s lunchtime, should I order out or hit the canteen?"
Zhou Xun sighed. This guy acted like the world would end if he worked a single second overtime.
A while later, as Miao Wu was happily munching on fried chicken, Director Lu appeared at the office door with Shen Gongbao in tow. Miao Wu was so startled he dropped his chicken leg. He swallowed hard, looking at Zhou Xun’s calm face. "You really are fine. You humans are terrifying."
The Director, also a human, was busy babbling in an attempt to flatter the immortal.
"Venerable Lord, perhaps I should show you to your accommodations?" Lu Dewei smiled.
The Immortal Lord shook his head like a rattle. "No. You are too noisy."
The Director’s smile didn't waver. He waved Zhou Xun over. "Xiao Zhou, you’re off the clock. Take the Venerable Lord to see the sights of Baihe City. Let him sample our local delicacies, then get him settled at the guest house. Let him rest, and we’ll have a welcome banquet tonight!"
The thought of a banquet with the boss made Zhou Xun’s blood pressure spike. Between that and a cold trail on a murder case, it was a toss-up for what she hated more.
The Director made his exit, leaving the Immortal Lord Shen Gongbao standing there, his hands tucked into his sleeves, waiting patiently.
Translator's Notes:
- Ben zuo (本座): A classic, archaic first-person pronoun used by high-ranking cultivators or deities in Xianxia.
- Shit-Stirrer (搅屎棍): A vulgar but common term for someone who causes trouble or creates chaos just for the sake of it.
- From the Idiom: "A small temple cannot hold a big Buddha" (小庙容不下大佛). It is a metaphorical way of saying that a low-level or humble organization is too small to accommodate someone of immense talent, status, or power.
The protagonist, Jiang Ziya, was a wise and patient old man who follows the "righteous" path of the Primeval Lord of Heaven. The antagonist, Shen Gongbao, was his fellow apprentice. He is younger, more talented, and infinitely more arrogant. He became jealous after their master chose Jiang Ziya to lead the mission, so he defected to the "evil" side to cause as much chaos as possible.
Shen Gongbao’s most famous weapon isn't a sword; it’s his mouth. His catchphrase is: "Fellow Daoist, please stay a moment" (道友请留步). In Chinese pop culture, this is considered a "death curse." Whenever Shen Gongbao says this to a fellow immortal, he is about to trick them into joining a losing battle against the protagonists. Almost everyone who listened to him ended up dead or stripped of their powers.
In a famous scene to prove his "power," Shen Gongbao actually cuts off his own head, throws it into the air, and makes it fly back onto his neck. This highlights his unorthodox and creepy nature—he doesn't follow the clean, traditional rules of immortality.
After losing the war, he was punished by being stuffed into the "Eye of the North Sea" to plug a leak. Eventually, he was granted a low-level title: General of the East Sea. Essentially, he was given a "desk job" in the middle of nowhere to keep him from talking to people and causing more chaos.
Like the author of this novel mentioned before, this story isn't just about myths and solving supernatural crimes. This novel is basically a modern spin-off of the ancient legendary villain, Shen Gongbao, as he slowly adjusts to modern society.
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