Bureau of Demon Affairs CH3
Chapter 3: The General of East Sea
The Immortal Lord, Shen Gongbao, stood with his head tilted back, his attention entirely captured by the electric lights on the ceiling. He possessed a lithe, elongated frame, standing well over 190 centimeters tall. This, combined with his flamboyant robes and striking emerald eyes, lent him a profound sense of the inhuman.
Zhou Xun felt it would be rude to keep staring, so she hurried over to introduce herself. "Venerable Lord, greetings. My name is Zhou Xun, and you may simply call me Xiao Zhou from now on."
Hearing her voice, the Immortal Lord finally withdrew his curious gaze. He offered her a slight, exceptionally elegant nod in return.
Seeing that he seemed receptive, Zhou Xun continued. "Venerable Lord, if you could wait here a moment, I will gather my things and we can head out."
She rushed to her desk, copied her files onto a USB drive, and grabbed her canvas bag to prepare for their departure. To her surprise, the Immortal Lord followed her. He peered curiously at her computer monitor before his nose twitched at the scent of the fried chicken Miao Wu had ordered.
"What manner of substance is this?" he inquired.
"It's... it's fried chicken," Miao Wu stammered, answering as quickly as he could.
"Oh?" The deity tilted his head, seemingly failing to grasp the meaning of the term, yet his nose twitched again as he showed a clear interest in the aroma.
With a chicken leg frozen halfway to his mouth, Miao Wu suddenly felt the urge to ask if the Immortal Lord wanted a piece. However, sensing the impropriety of the gesture, he thought better of it.
"Alright, Venerable Lord, let us go," Zhou Xun announced, her preparations complete.
The Immortal Lord reluctantly pulled his gaze away from the fried chicken and followed her out the door. Just as they stepped out of the Bureau's Headquarters, he seemed to remember something and turned to her. "Where are the magical treasures and the mount belonging to ben zuo [1]?"
Fortunately, having skimmed the files earlier, Zhou Xun was prepared. "The higher-ups haven't authorized those yet."
"Then shall we travel by treading upon the clouds?"
Zhou Xun shook her head. "That will not work either. First, you do not have a flight license, and secondly, the city is currently under a 'Civilized Flight' restriction zone."
"I'll drive you," Zhou Xun said calmly. She pressed a button on her key fob, and her small white car responded with a cheerful chirp.
The Immortal Lord looked profoundly shaken. "This is your mount?"
"Yes."
He walked over to inspect it closely, peering at it from every angle until he realized this iron hunk was not a living creature. When Zhou Xun motioned for him to get in, the Immortal Lord flicked his long sleeves and leaped onto the roof of the car in a single, incredibly agile motion. He sat there cross-legged, only to look down and meet Zhou Xun’s stunned expression.
"Venerable Lord..."
Realizing his mistake, he assumed she wanted to sit beside him. He gathered his long sleeves and tucked his legs in to make room for her on the roof.
Zhou Xun bit her lower lip to keep from laughing. Looking up, she saw Director Lu’s large face pressed against the office window like a ghost, monitoring their every move. She exhausted every ounce of her brain cells to find the right words.
"Venerable Lord, honored guests usually sit inside." She pulled open the car door.
"I see."
He nodded, descended from the roof, and climbed obediently into the car, resolving the awkward situation. Zhou Xun stole a glance at his robes, relieved that she had washed the car just yesterday.
With the deity settled in the back seat, Zhou Xun was about to get into the driver's side when she saw Captain Du and the others returning in the Bureau’s vehicle. The moment Captain Du stepped out, his legs went weak. Several of the demon colleagues with him looked dizzy and disoriented, as if suffering from high-altitude sickness.
"How's the case?"
"A total mess. The body has been there for over a week, and the spiritual trackers cannot pick up a trace. Zheng-jie is heading to the autopsy, I am going to the hospital, and then I need to go back to monitor the surveillance footage." Captain Du looked utterly overwhelmed. His father had fallen ill a few days ago, and he likely had not even found time to eat.
Zhou Xun quickly drove away with the Immortal Lord, determined not to add to their chaos.
On the way to the guest house, Zhou Xun noticed the snack stalls and restaurants lining the road. She turned to the deity. "Venerable Lord, are you hungry? Is there anything you would like to eat?" She was not entirely sure if immortals actually needed to eat, and taking care of others, let alone serving a deity, had never been her strong suit.
The Immortal Lord lifted his chin, speaking with lofty pride. "Those of us who have attained the Dao have no need for the five grains [2] or the smoke of the mortal world [3]. We draw only upon the spiritual essence of heaven and earth."
"Oh, alright then." Hearing this, Zhou Xun felt no psychological burden as she floored the accelerator and sped past the snack street.
The sudden burst of speed sent the Immortal Lord reclining back into his seat. The colorful signs on both sides of the street were a blur, and everything he saw was utterly foreign. His keen sense of smell allowed him to catch the scents even through the glass, noting various aromas of fresh food. By his calculations, he had not eaten in over 3,600 years. He sniffed the air, but his pride would not allow him to change his mind now. As he watched the skyscrapers towering into the clouds and the endless stream of traffic, his expression shifted from bewildered confusion to genuine fascination.
They arrived at their destination quickly. Zhou Xun opened the door for him. The Bureau's guest house had been built only a few years ago to accommodate colleagues visiting Baihe City, but this was the first time they were hosting a literal god. A "Welcome Venerable Lord" banner had already been strung up, flanked by flower baskets at the entrance. Zhou Xun looked up at the top floor, assuming he would be staying in the finest suite.
When they reached the automatic revolving door, the deity’s pride was once again challenged by modern civilization. He stared at the slowly rotating glass door with a furrowed brow, looking as though he were facing a formidable enemy.
"Venerable Lord, is something wrong?"
"This... what is this?"
Zhou Xun saw that his entire body was tense. Just then, a pedestrian stepped into the revolving door and vanished from sight. The Immortal Lord’s eyes widened in shock. To him, the door had just eaten a person.
Zhou Xun sighed. Every bit of her emotional intelligence and social skill was being tested today. The Immortal Lord took two steps back, lifting his hand to form a spell sign. Zhou Xun acted fast, grabbing his wrist to stop the illegal use of magic in its tracks. She guided him forward by the wrist toward the side sliding door, moving as cautiously as if she were soothing a startled stallion.
"See? Nothing happened."
The Immortal Lord let out a long breath, thinking to himself that humans were truly remarkable to place such heavy obstacles even at their own front doors.
The lobby was empty. Zhou Xun checked him in under his grand title and led him upstairs. Along the way, he was startled by mirrors, the elevator, and even a robotic vacuum. The short walk took an eternity. Zhou Xun felt more exhausted than she ever had in her life. She had truly had enough, secretly vowing to quit the moment she got back.
She swiped the key card to open the room. Inside, more banners and gift baskets awaited. Zhou Xun took a deep breath, bracing herself to give him the tour.
"If you are tired, you can rest on the bed," she said while patting the soft mattress.
"If you are thirsty, drink this." She unscrewed a bottle of mineral water as a demonstration.
The Immortal Lord nodded, trailing behind her like a shadow.
"Well..." Though she knew immortals supposedly did not eat, she was not sure if they still needed the bathroom. Just in case, she led him to the toilet and demonstrated how to flush. "Humans have their needs. Do immortals have them as well?"
"Oh!" He was genuinely surprised. He watched with excitement as the water spiraled down. He tried pressing the button himself, and when he succeeded, his emerald eyes sparkled.
"Alright, Venerable Lord, please rest for now. There is a dinner banquet tonight, and I will be back to get you then." With her patience nearing zero, she pointed to the sofa, and he sat down obediently.
Seeing him so compliant made her feel a bit guilty. She picked up the remote and turned on the television. "If you get bored, you can watch this."
The TV was tuned to a sports channel showing a tennis match. The Immortal Lord was indeed captivated. His eyes tracked the movement of the ball with perfect precision. Left, right, left, right, left... After a moment, the ball was hit out of bounds. He suddenly stood up and walked over to peer behind the television. Finding nothing but a wall, he looked even more perplexed.
"I will leave you to it, then."
Zhou Xun was about to leave when she noticed he was no longer looking at the TV. He scanned the room, murmuring to himself, "Mmh, a crane demon once resided here as well."
It was Zhou Xun’s turn to be surprised. A deity was indeed a deity. He could detect the traces of a demon with a single glance, whereas humans and demons alike had to rely on specialized equipment.
She did not dwell on it. Stepping out of the room, she felt a massive sense of relief. Being a nanny was truly no easy task. As she rode the elevator down, she calculated that she still had plenty of time before dinner. She had brought a few case files with her and decided to check in with her informants in the Demon Market. Re-energized by the thought of actual work, she pulled out a notebook and began sketching out some ideas.
In the lobby, she glanced at the front desk and suddenly stopped.
"Excuse me, I wanted to ask. Who stayed in the Venerable Lord’s room before him?"
The receptionist was taken aback but hesitated to reveal private information. Only after Zhou Xun flashed her badge did the woman speak.
"The Director of the Bureau of Demon Affairs from He Xiong City Branch was here for a conference. He was staying in that room."
"I knew it," Zhou Xun mused. That Director was indeed a crane demon. "And when was the last time he stayed here?"
"It has been about two months."
"Two months?!" Zhou Xun’s eyes lit up. Their Bureau’s equipment could only detect traces up to a week old. The Immortal Lord was truly on another level!
She pulled an immediate U-turn and headed back up.
When the door opened, the Immortal Lord was clutching a large pineapple he had apparently taken from the fruit basket. Zhou Xun looked up and saw that the "Welcome" banner on the ceiling had already been torn down.
"What is the matter?"
"Venerable Lord, please come with me!"
Zhou Xun checked her phone. It was 1:30 PM. Dinner was not until seven, so their time was still quite ample. If she could get the deity to look at the body disposal site on the mountain and identify the demon’s tracks, what harm could it do? To be safe, she decided not to tell Captain Du yet. It would be better to wait until she had a lead.
As she drove back up the mountain, only a few colleagues were left finishing the cleanup. The yellow police tape in front of the villa was strikingly bright.
"Venerable Lord, please see if you can find any traces of a demon here."
Zhou Xun placed all her hopes on the Immortal Lord. The deity did not put on any airs. He simply walked through the villa while still clutching his pineapple, observing the area seriously. However, he did not head for the western bedroom where the body had been found. Instead, he walked straight to the basement.
The stairs led down to a dark, damp space filled with cobwebs and dust. Though her colleagues had searched it thoroughly and found nothing, the Immortal Lord looked into the empty darkness and spoke. "A demon once lay in wait here."
Zhou Xun did not doubt his judgment, though she was frustrated that the Bureau’s sensors had missed it. "Can you tell what kind of demon it was?"
The Immortal Lord remained silent, shaking his head with a frown.
"Then... can you track where it went?"
"I shall try." He followed the trail from the bedroom, vaulted out of a window, and headed deep into the forest.
The deity had long legs and took massive strides, and Zhou Xun struggled to keep up as they navigated the abandoned mountain paths. After about a kilometer, Zhou Xun noticed broken branches and deep tire tracks where a vehicle seemed to have spun out of control and crashed into the woods. She no longer needed the deity to lead her. She followed the ruts that even the heavy rain had not washed away. Finally, in the middle of the overgrown forest, she found a black car crumpled against a tree.
Zhou Xun hurried forward, but as she got closer, she realized the windows were not actually tinted black. They were covered in a thick, pulsating carpet of flies.
There was undoubtedly a body inside. Zhou Xun pulled on her gloves and tapped the glass. As the swarm of flies scattered in a dark cloud, she witnessed the horror within.
Maggots had claimed the decaying flesh. Scattered remains lay near the driver's seat, and a head, its face completely flayed, hung by a single strip of skin from the neck while swaying precariously.
As the flies settled back down like a black shroud over the window, Zhou Xun felt the air freeze in her lungs. A cold wind blew past her, feeling exactly like it had thirteen years ago.
Was it him? Was he back?
Translator's Notes & Glossary:
The Immortal Lord, Shen Gongbao, stood with his head tilted back, his attention entirely captured by the electric lights on the ceiling. He possessed a lithe, elongated frame, standing well over 190 centimeters tall. This, combined with his flamboyant robes and striking emerald eyes, lent him a profound sense of the inhuman.
Zhou Xun felt it would be rude to keep staring, so she hurried over to introduce herself. "Venerable Lord, greetings. My name is Zhou Xun, and you may simply call me Xiao Zhou from now on."
Hearing her voice, the Immortal Lord finally withdrew his curious gaze. He offered her a slight, exceptionally elegant nod in return.
Seeing that he seemed receptive, Zhou Xun continued. "Venerable Lord, if you could wait here a moment, I will gather my things and we can head out."
She rushed to her desk, copied her files onto a USB drive, and grabbed her canvas bag to prepare for their departure. To her surprise, the Immortal Lord followed her. He peered curiously at her computer monitor before his nose twitched at the scent of the fried chicken Miao Wu had ordered.
"What manner of substance is this?" he inquired.
"It's... it's fried chicken," Miao Wu stammered, answering as quickly as he could.
"Oh?" The deity tilted his head, seemingly failing to grasp the meaning of the term, yet his nose twitched again as he showed a clear interest in the aroma.
With a chicken leg frozen halfway to his mouth, Miao Wu suddenly felt the urge to ask if the Immortal Lord wanted a piece. However, sensing the impropriety of the gesture, he thought better of it.
"Alright, Venerable Lord, let us go," Zhou Xun announced, her preparations complete.
The Immortal Lord reluctantly pulled his gaze away from the fried chicken and followed her out the door. Just as they stepped out of the Bureau's Headquarters, he seemed to remember something and turned to her. "Where are the magical treasures and the mount belonging to ben zuo [1]?"
Fortunately, having skimmed the files earlier, Zhou Xun was prepared. "The higher-ups haven't authorized those yet."
"Then shall we travel by treading upon the clouds?"
Zhou Xun shook her head. "That will not work either. First, you do not have a flight license, and secondly, the city is currently under a 'Civilized Flight' restriction zone."
The Immortal Lord’s eyes widened. He clearly did not understand the terminology, but he understood the rejection. Feeling slighted, his expression soured into dissatisfaction.
"Hmph. 'This is forbidden, that is restricted'... Must ben zuo reach our destination on foot?"
"Hmph. 'This is forbidden, that is restricted'... Must ben zuo reach our destination on foot?"
"I'll drive you," Zhou Xun said calmly. She pressed a button on her key fob, and her small white car responded with a cheerful chirp.
The Immortal Lord looked profoundly shaken. "This is your mount?"
"Yes."
He walked over to inspect it closely, peering at it from every angle until he realized this iron hunk was not a living creature. When Zhou Xun motioned for him to get in, the Immortal Lord flicked his long sleeves and leaped onto the roof of the car in a single, incredibly agile motion. He sat there cross-legged, only to look down and meet Zhou Xun’s stunned expression.
"Venerable Lord..."
Realizing his mistake, he assumed she wanted to sit beside him. He gathered his long sleeves and tucked his legs in to make room for her on the roof.
Zhou Xun bit her lower lip to keep from laughing. Looking up, she saw Director Lu’s large face pressed against the office window like a ghost, monitoring their every move. She exhausted every ounce of her brain cells to find the right words.
"Venerable Lord, honored guests usually sit inside." She pulled open the car door.
"I see."
He nodded, descended from the roof, and climbed obediently into the car, resolving the awkward situation. Zhou Xun stole a glance at his robes, relieved that she had washed the car just yesterday.
With the deity settled in the back seat, Zhou Xun was about to get into the driver's side when she saw Captain Du and the others returning in the Bureau’s vehicle. The moment Captain Du stepped out, his legs went weak. Several of the demon colleagues with him looked dizzy and disoriented, as if suffering from high-altitude sickness.
"How's the case?"
"A total mess. The body has been there for over a week, and the spiritual trackers cannot pick up a trace. Zheng-jie is heading to the autopsy, I am going to the hospital, and then I need to go back to monitor the surveillance footage." Captain Du looked utterly overwhelmed. His father had fallen ill a few days ago, and he likely had not even found time to eat.
Zhou Xun quickly drove away with the Immortal Lord, determined not to add to their chaos.
On the way to the guest house, Zhou Xun noticed the snack stalls and restaurants lining the road. She turned to the deity. "Venerable Lord, are you hungry? Is there anything you would like to eat?" She was not entirely sure if immortals actually needed to eat, and taking care of others, let alone serving a deity, had never been her strong suit.
The Immortal Lord lifted his chin, speaking with lofty pride. "Those of us who have attained the Dao have no need for the five grains [2] or the smoke of the mortal world [3]. We draw only upon the spiritual essence of heaven and earth."
"Oh, alright then." Hearing this, Zhou Xun felt no psychological burden as she floored the accelerator and sped past the snack street.
The sudden burst of speed sent the Immortal Lord reclining back into his seat. The colorful signs on both sides of the street were a blur, and everything he saw was utterly foreign. His keen sense of smell allowed him to catch the scents even through the glass, noting various aromas of fresh food. By his calculations, he had not eaten in over 3,600 years. He sniffed the air, but his pride would not allow him to change his mind now. As he watched the skyscrapers towering into the clouds and the endless stream of traffic, his expression shifted from bewildered confusion to genuine fascination.
They arrived at their destination quickly. Zhou Xun opened the door for him. The Bureau's guest house had been built only a few years ago to accommodate colleagues visiting Baihe City, but this was the first time they were hosting a literal god. A "Welcome Venerable Lord" banner had already been strung up, flanked by flower baskets at the entrance. Zhou Xun looked up at the top floor, assuming he would be staying in the finest suite.
When they reached the automatic revolving door, the deity’s pride was once again challenged by modern civilization. He stared at the slowly rotating glass door with a furrowed brow, looking as though he were facing a formidable enemy.
"Venerable Lord, is something wrong?"
"This... what is this?"
Zhou Xun saw that his entire body was tense. Just then, a pedestrian stepped into the revolving door and vanished from sight. The Immortal Lord’s eyes widened in shock. To him, the door had just eaten a person.
Zhou Xun sighed. Every bit of her emotional intelligence and social skill was being tested today. The Immortal Lord took two steps back, lifting his hand to form a spell sign. Zhou Xun acted fast, grabbing his wrist to stop the illegal use of magic in its tracks. She guided him forward by the wrist toward the side sliding door, moving as cautiously as if she were soothing a startled stallion.
"See? Nothing happened."
The Immortal Lord let out a long breath, thinking to himself that humans were truly remarkable to place such heavy obstacles even at their own front doors.
The lobby was empty. Zhou Xun checked him in under his grand title and led him upstairs. Along the way, he was startled by mirrors, the elevator, and even a robotic vacuum. The short walk took an eternity. Zhou Xun felt more exhausted than she ever had in her life. She had truly had enough, secretly vowing to quit the moment she got back.
She swiped the key card to open the room. Inside, more banners and gift baskets awaited. Zhou Xun took a deep breath, bracing herself to give him the tour.
"If you are tired, you can rest on the bed," she said while patting the soft mattress.
"If you are thirsty, drink this." She unscrewed a bottle of mineral water as a demonstration.
The Immortal Lord nodded, trailing behind her like a shadow.
"Well..." Though she knew immortals supposedly did not eat, she was not sure if they still needed the bathroom. Just in case, she led him to the toilet and demonstrated how to flush. "Humans have their needs. Do immortals have them as well?"
"Oh!" He was genuinely surprised. He watched with excitement as the water spiraled down. He tried pressing the button himself, and when he succeeded, his emerald eyes sparkled.
"Alright, Venerable Lord, please rest for now. There is a dinner banquet tonight, and I will be back to get you then." With her patience nearing zero, she pointed to the sofa, and he sat down obediently.
Seeing him so compliant made her feel a bit guilty. She picked up the remote and turned on the television. "If you get bored, you can watch this."
The TV was tuned to a sports channel showing a tennis match. The Immortal Lord was indeed captivated. His eyes tracked the movement of the ball with perfect precision. Left, right, left, right, left... After a moment, the ball was hit out of bounds. He suddenly stood up and walked over to peer behind the television. Finding nothing but a wall, he looked even more perplexed.
"I will leave you to it, then."
Zhou Xun was about to leave when she noticed he was no longer looking at the TV. He scanned the room, murmuring to himself, "Mmh, a crane demon once resided here as well."
It was Zhou Xun’s turn to be surprised. A deity was indeed a deity. He could detect the traces of a demon with a single glance, whereas humans and demons alike had to rely on specialized equipment.
She did not dwell on it. Stepping out of the room, she felt a massive sense of relief. Being a nanny was truly no easy task. As she rode the elevator down, she calculated that she still had plenty of time before dinner. She had brought a few case files with her and decided to check in with her informants in the Demon Market. Re-energized by the thought of actual work, she pulled out a notebook and began sketching out some ideas.
In the lobby, she glanced at the front desk and suddenly stopped.
"Excuse me, I wanted to ask. Who stayed in the Venerable Lord’s room before him?"
The receptionist was taken aback but hesitated to reveal private information. Only after Zhou Xun flashed her badge did the woman speak.
"The Director of the Bureau of Demon Affairs from He Xiong City Branch was here for a conference. He was staying in that room."
"I knew it," Zhou Xun mused. That Director was indeed a crane demon. "And when was the last time he stayed here?"
"It has been about two months."
"Two months?!" Zhou Xun’s eyes lit up. Their Bureau’s equipment could only detect traces up to a week old. The Immortal Lord was truly on another level!
She pulled an immediate U-turn and headed back up.
When the door opened, the Immortal Lord was clutching a large pineapple he had apparently taken from the fruit basket. Zhou Xun looked up and saw that the "Welcome" banner on the ceiling had already been torn down.
"What is the matter?"
"Venerable Lord, please come with me!"
Zhou Xun checked her phone. It was 1:30 PM. Dinner was not until seven, so their time was still quite ample. If she could get the deity to look at the body disposal site on the mountain and identify the demon’s tracks, what harm could it do? To be safe, she decided not to tell Captain Du yet. It would be better to wait until she had a lead.
As she drove back up the mountain, only a few colleagues were left finishing the cleanup. The yellow police tape in front of the villa was strikingly bright.
"Venerable Lord, please see if you can find any traces of a demon here."
Zhou Xun placed all her hopes on the Immortal Lord. The deity did not put on any airs. He simply walked through the villa while still clutching his pineapple, observing the area seriously. However, he did not head for the western bedroom where the body had been found. Instead, he walked straight to the basement.
The stairs led down to a dark, damp space filled with cobwebs and dust. Though her colleagues had searched it thoroughly and found nothing, the Immortal Lord looked into the empty darkness and spoke. "A demon once lay in wait here."
Zhou Xun did not doubt his judgment, though she was frustrated that the Bureau’s sensors had missed it. "Can you tell what kind of demon it was?"
The Immortal Lord remained silent, shaking his head with a frown.
"Then... can you track where it went?"
"I shall try." He followed the trail from the bedroom, vaulted out of a window, and headed deep into the forest.
The deity had long legs and took massive strides, and Zhou Xun struggled to keep up as they navigated the abandoned mountain paths. After about a kilometer, Zhou Xun noticed broken branches and deep tire tracks where a vehicle seemed to have spun out of control and crashed into the woods. She no longer needed the deity to lead her. She followed the ruts that even the heavy rain had not washed away. Finally, in the middle of the overgrown forest, she found a black car crumpled against a tree.
Zhou Xun hurried forward, but as she got closer, she realized the windows were not actually tinted black. They were covered in a thick, pulsating carpet of flies.
There was undoubtedly a body inside. Zhou Xun pulled on her gloves and tapped the glass. As the swarm of flies scattered in a dark cloud, she witnessed the horror within.
Maggots had claimed the decaying flesh. Scattered remains lay near the driver's seat, and a head, its face completely flayed, hung by a single strip of skin from the neck while swaying precariously.
As the flies settled back down like a black shroud over the window, Zhou Xun felt the air freeze in her lungs. A cold wind blew past her, feeling exactly like it had thirteen years ago.
Was it him? Was he back?
Translator's Notes & Glossary:
- Ben zuo: A highly arrogant, archaic way for a powerful figure (like a sect leader or a deity) to refer to themselves.
- The Five Grains (五谷): Traditionally referring to staples like rice, wheat, and beans, this symbol represents physical sustenance and the basic needs of the human body.
- The Smoke of the Mortal World (人间烟火): This is a common Chinese idiom for worldly life or "the flavor of human existence." The "smoke" refers to the cooking fires of everyday households. To "have no need" for it means the individual is no longer tethered to social obligations, material desires, or the mundane comforts of society.
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