Bureau of Demon Affairs CH9
Chapter 9: Side Quests
Zhou Xun ignored Boss Hu’s confusion, pressing him for more. "So, what exactly does that shop of theirs sell?"
Boss Hu gave a sly chuckle. "It's an antique shop. What else would it sell?"
"Nothing... illegal or against the regulations?"
He laughed again, the wrinkles on his face puckering like walnut skin. "When the doors are open, business is business; I haven't heard of any dirty laundry. But once the doors are closed... well, we outsiders wouldn't know, would we?"
Seeing how tight-lipped he was being, Zhou Xun knew she wouldn't squeeze anything more out of him. However, if this old fox was being this cautious about those goat demons, they were likely not to be trifled with.
Boss Hu kept up his fawning act, but the moment he saw Shen Gongbao meticulously inspecting the various oddities on the shelves, he quietly slipped away from Zhou Xun’s side.
"Ooh, you have an excellent eye, handsome! That thing you’re looking at is the crown jewel of my shop!" He pointed to a tennis-ball-sized blue sphere encased in a glass box on the top shelf.
"What is this object?"
Boss Hu answered eagerly, "That is the Sky-Opening Bead. A treasure of the high ancients! Legend has it that this bead was formed from the primal chaos when Pangu first separated heaven and earth. It took me a lot of effort to track it down!"
Hearing this, Shen Gongbao removed his sunglasses, using his pale green, slitted pupils to give Boss Hu a slow, calculating look before glancing at the "Sky-Opening Bead."
"Fake," he said flatly.
He knew because the real one used to be in his possession—though it was currently confiscated by the Divine Bureau.
Caught in that gaze, Boss Hu felt a sudden, inexplicable chill. His survival instincts kicked in, and he scurried away once more.
Tang Na leaned in and whispered to Zhou Xun, "Why is Boss Hu so weird? I didn't know people still ran pawnshops like this."
Zhou Xun explained that while it looked like a pawnshop, it was mostly a front. The ornaments on the shelves, the scrolls on the walls, and the various bizarre artifacts were all of questionable origin and dubious authenticity.
When Zhou Xun first caught this fox by the tail, he had been selling "Master Tang’s Hemorrhoids," claiming that eating them would grant immortality and eternal youth. The suspicious lump of flesh had been bid up to an astronomical price before the Demon Bureau swooped in. It was Zhou Xun's first case. Although the "hemorrhoids" were eventually appraised as fakes, Boss Hu was still fined and detained for fraud and violating food safety laws. After a few more run-ins, he became her informant.
Tang Na was stunned, glancing at Boss Hu. She hadn't realized the man was so... creative.
Zhou Xun received a message from Zhu Zhu in Tech. The van turned out to be using cloned plates. Suspicious, she thought. She turned to Tang Na. "You stay here. If I’m not back in an hour and the contact shows up, detain her." Since the delivery person was reportedly just a young girl, Tang Na could handle it.
Boss Hu just smiled and said nothing. He was slippery; he’d win either way. After all, he hadn't reported the mermaid tears until the quality started dropping.
As Zhou Xun stepped out, the Immortal Lord followed. She didn't object. He was a deity, after all and if things got dangerous, he’d be a good backup.
Just then, her mother messaged her: [When are you coming home for dinner? Your father bought some beef and put it in the freezer. He’s planning to make tomato brisket for you.]
Zhou Xun realized she’d been so busy she’d forgotten to call home. After she’d been injured chasing a suspect on a previous mission, her parents had been worried sick. Her job already had long hours, low pay, and a long commute. The added life-and-death stakes were almost too much for them to bear. She couldn't explain the details, so she never mentioned work, but the injury had been impossible to hide.
[I'll definitely be back today!] she replied but then immediately hit "unsend". She didn't want to make promises she couldn't keep.
[I'll try my best. I'll head back after I'm done.]
The Immortal Lord had been leaning over, peering at her phone with curiosity. "Do you humans all use this thing to communicate?"
"Yes. It’s a mobile phone. Demons use them too." She pulled the phone away. "And Venerable Lord, it’s impolite to stare at other people’s screens."
Shen Gongbao immediately straightened up and averted his eyes.
"Do you want one? It would make it easier to reach people," she asked.
He nodded eagerly.
Good, Zhou Xun thought. It'll benefit me too. No more dream-invasions ruining my sleep.
* * *
When they returned to the street corner, the antique shop was already locked tight. The windows were boarded up, and the van was gone. Had they spotted her and bolted? Or were they inside counting the haul?
Zhou Xun looked at the security camera above the door. Without a warrant or evidence, she couldn't force her way in on a hunch. She hovered conspicuously, hoping to draw them out.
"Immortal Lord, can you tell if there’s anyone inside?"
Shen Gongbao narrowed his eyes. Does she think I'm a hound? He was about to snap, but seeing her sincere, expectant face, he changed his mind. Hmph. This woman is just a powerless, tiny human. No sharp ears, no keen nose. Pitiful!
He gave a smug smile. He suppose he could deign to help.
He performed a quick hand seal. "There are many. Three goat demons, a chicken demon, and four..." He paused. The other four were outside his knowledge base.
Before the awkwardness could settle, two large, thuggish-looking individuals closed in from behind.
"Ah, right. The other four look just like these two," Shen Gongbao said, delighted to have cleared the confusion.
Zhou Xun, however, was not delighted. She knew these outfits all too well: black-and-white patterned clothes, grey-ash crew cuts, muscular builds, and short tempers.
The Honey Badger Syndicate. A decade ago, they had exploded onto the scene in Baihe City, carving a bloody path with sheer brutality. People were so terrified of them that for years, no one dared wear black and white on the streets. During the recent crackdowns, the boss was imprisoned and the mid-level gang leaders were wiped out, leaving only low-level lackeys to find other "work".
"What are you doing, sneaking around here?" the taller one asked. She was a female demon, flat-topped with ear studs, a scar near her eye, and the broad shoulders of an athlete.
"Why is this shop closed?" Zhou Xun asked.
"What's it to you!" the shorter male demon snapped. Compared to his partner, his eyes looked significantly more "clear and foolish".
Zhou Xun switched her focus to him. "Is the owner’s name Yang?"
"Mind your own business!" He was clearly defensive.
It seemed the remnants of the gang had found work as Black Market bodyguards. The plan to draw them out had worked. Zhou Xun pulled out her badge. "I'm with the Bureau of Demon Affairs. Do you know a man named Yang Yue?" She glanced up at the security camera.
The male demon’s expression wavered instantly. The female glared at the badge. "What about him?"
"He’s dead. We found his body on Mount He. We suspect his death is linked to a human named Zhang Guangjun. We need your cooperation."
"Zhang Guangjun? Him..." the male muttered before the female elbowed him into silence.
Shortly after, the heavy iron door of the antique shop creaked open. A refined, middle-aged man with a goatee stepped out. He wore a well-tailored suit, a prayer bead bracelet on his wrist, and was idly rotating two walnuts in his hand. His eyes had the tell-tale horizontal pupils of a goat demon.
"Yang Yue was my brother. I am Yang Zhong," he said, his face eerily calm.
"Please come with us."
"By what right?!" the two badger demons snarled.
Yang Zhong raised a hand to silence them. "Take me to see my brother’s body."
* * *
In the morgue, Yang Zhong lifted the white sheet. He looked at the broken horn and the scar on the left thigh. "It’s my brother. As a kid, he loved to fight so he had many scars."
It was the quietest identification Zhou Xun had ever witnessed.
Yang Zhong stared at the broken remains for a long time before gently pulling the sheet back up, pausing briefly as he covered the face. "Have you caught the one who killed Zhang Guangjun?"
"Not yet. We're investigating. We’ll need a statement from you. We want to know about the relationship between Yang Yue and Zhang Guangjun. Did you know they were in business together?"
Yang Zhong didn't answer. Instead, he asked, "Has Zhang Guangjun’s family come to identify him?"
For a split second, Zhou Xun caught a glimpse of something turbulent beneath his calm exterior. "They have. But the family is also under investigation. We'll be summoning them frequently."
Her meaning was clear: The family is under our protection. Don't even think about revenge.
Yang Zhong looked at her and smiled gently. "I meant nothing by it."
Just then, Captain Du came down to take Yang Zhong for questioning. As they headed into the interrogation room, Du Xingwang whispered to Zhou Xun, "I had Zhu Zhu check their contacts. They have four mutual connections—all employees of a demon crematorium."
"What?" Zhou Xun was stunned. Both humans and demons used cremation, but the methods differed. Deceased demons were burned with True Samādhi Fire to avoid... well, smelling like a barbecue. While humans left ashes, demons only left a Demon Core.
Are they trafficking cores? she wondered. That's incredibly depraved.
"I'll leave it to you," Zhou Xun said, her head spinning. Du Xingwang was the expert at handling people and demons alike. Though he’d once wanted to be a police dog, he’d decided he was better suited to being an "emotional support dog".
They shared a look and sighed. The serial killer was still at large, and now they had illegal contraband and a local gang to deal with. The cases were piling up, and they were hitting a wall. Plus, those two badger demons were still loitering outside the Bureau...
Could she just have one quiet day? To top it off, sting operation she left with Tang Na had failed. The contact for the Mermaid Tears had suddenly changed the meeting time.
By the time Zhou Xun finished at the Bureau, it was 9:30 PM. She hadn't eaten, but she was too tired to care. She just wanted to crawl into bed.
Then, a message arrived from Duan Zhiyan: [I’m heading back to the Divine Bureau tomorrow. I heard you’ve been working late—you must be starving. Want to grab a bite at the food stalls near your complex?]
The cold light of the screen reflected on her face. She was hungry. She glanced out the window but the Immortal Lord’s curtains were closed. She assumed he was resting. I hope my movements don't trigger his alarm, she thought.
She replied: [Sure. Should I go grab a table?]
The reply was instant: [No need. I’m downstairs.]
She walked to the window and pulled back the curtain. There was Duan Zhiyan in a grey tracksuit, looking up. He waved. She threw on a jacket and hurried down. After the rain, the late cherry blossoms were scattered across the ground like gold under the streetlights.
"It’s dangerous around here," Duan Zhiyan joked when she reached him.
"Why?" Zhou Xun asked, confused. This was the Bureau’s staff housing, it was the safest place in the city.
"I just finished a night run. There are temptation-filled BBQ stalls everywhere."
Zhou Xun laughed. They walked together over the fallen petals.
Suddenly, a leopard’s head peeked through a gap in the curtains above, watching them walk away. Shen Gongbao’s eyes glowed in the dark. He gnashed his teeth.
"Oh, very nice. Very nice indeed. Caught you red-handed!"
Translator's Note:
Zhou Xun ignored Boss Hu’s confusion, pressing him for more. "So, what exactly does that shop of theirs sell?"
Boss Hu gave a sly chuckle. "It's an antique shop. What else would it sell?"
"Nothing... illegal or against the regulations?"
He laughed again, the wrinkles on his face puckering like walnut skin. "When the doors are open, business is business; I haven't heard of any dirty laundry. But once the doors are closed... well, we outsiders wouldn't know, would we?"
Seeing how tight-lipped he was being, Zhou Xun knew she wouldn't squeeze anything more out of him. However, if this old fox was being this cautious about those goat demons, they were likely not to be trifled with.
Boss Hu kept up his fawning act, but the moment he saw Shen Gongbao meticulously inspecting the various oddities on the shelves, he quietly slipped away from Zhou Xun’s side.
"Ooh, you have an excellent eye, handsome! That thing you’re looking at is the crown jewel of my shop!" He pointed to a tennis-ball-sized blue sphere encased in a glass box on the top shelf.
"What is this object?"
Boss Hu answered eagerly, "That is the Sky-Opening Bead. A treasure of the high ancients! Legend has it that this bead was formed from the primal chaos when Pangu first separated heaven and earth. It took me a lot of effort to track it down!"
Hearing this, Shen Gongbao removed his sunglasses, using his pale green, slitted pupils to give Boss Hu a slow, calculating look before glancing at the "Sky-Opening Bead."
"Fake," he said flatly.
He knew because the real one used to be in his possession—though it was currently confiscated by the Divine Bureau.
Caught in that gaze, Boss Hu felt a sudden, inexplicable chill. His survival instincts kicked in, and he scurried away once more.
Tang Na leaned in and whispered to Zhou Xun, "Why is Boss Hu so weird? I didn't know people still ran pawnshops like this."
Zhou Xun explained that while it looked like a pawnshop, it was mostly a front. The ornaments on the shelves, the scrolls on the walls, and the various bizarre artifacts were all of questionable origin and dubious authenticity.
When Zhou Xun first caught this fox by the tail, he had been selling "Master Tang’s Hemorrhoids," claiming that eating them would grant immortality and eternal youth. The suspicious lump of flesh had been bid up to an astronomical price before the Demon Bureau swooped in. It was Zhou Xun's first case. Although the "hemorrhoids" were eventually appraised as fakes, Boss Hu was still fined and detained for fraud and violating food safety laws. After a few more run-ins, he became her informant.
Tang Na was stunned, glancing at Boss Hu. She hadn't realized the man was so... creative.
Zhou Xun received a message from Zhu Zhu in Tech. The van turned out to be using cloned plates. Suspicious, she thought. She turned to Tang Na. "You stay here. If I’m not back in an hour and the contact shows up, detain her." Since the delivery person was reportedly just a young girl, Tang Na could handle it.
Boss Hu just smiled and said nothing. He was slippery; he’d win either way. After all, he hadn't reported the mermaid tears until the quality started dropping.
As Zhou Xun stepped out, the Immortal Lord followed. She didn't object. He was a deity, after all and if things got dangerous, he’d be a good backup.
Just then, her mother messaged her: [When are you coming home for dinner? Your father bought some beef and put it in the freezer. He’s planning to make tomato brisket for you.]
Zhou Xun realized she’d been so busy she’d forgotten to call home. After she’d been injured chasing a suspect on a previous mission, her parents had been worried sick. Her job already had long hours, low pay, and a long commute. The added life-and-death stakes were almost too much for them to bear. She couldn't explain the details, so she never mentioned work, but the injury had been impossible to hide.
[I'll definitely be back today!] she replied but then immediately hit "unsend". She didn't want to make promises she couldn't keep.
[I'll try my best. I'll head back after I'm done.]
The Immortal Lord had been leaning over, peering at her phone with curiosity. "Do you humans all use this thing to communicate?"
"Yes. It’s a mobile phone. Demons use them too." She pulled the phone away. "And Venerable Lord, it’s impolite to stare at other people’s screens."
Shen Gongbao immediately straightened up and averted his eyes.
"Do you want one? It would make it easier to reach people," she asked.
He nodded eagerly.
Good, Zhou Xun thought. It'll benefit me too. No more dream-invasions ruining my sleep.
* * *
When they returned to the street corner, the antique shop was already locked tight. The windows were boarded up, and the van was gone. Had they spotted her and bolted? Or were they inside counting the haul?
Zhou Xun looked at the security camera above the door. Without a warrant or evidence, she couldn't force her way in on a hunch. She hovered conspicuously, hoping to draw them out.
"Immortal Lord, can you tell if there’s anyone inside?"
Shen Gongbao narrowed his eyes. Does she think I'm a hound? He was about to snap, but seeing her sincere, expectant face, he changed his mind. Hmph. This woman is just a powerless, tiny human. No sharp ears, no keen nose. Pitiful!
He gave a smug smile. He suppose he could deign to help.
He performed a quick hand seal. "There are many. Three goat demons, a chicken demon, and four..." He paused. The other four were outside his knowledge base.
Before the awkwardness could settle, two large, thuggish-looking individuals closed in from behind.
"Ah, right. The other four look just like these two," Shen Gongbao said, delighted to have cleared the confusion.
Zhou Xun, however, was not delighted. She knew these outfits all too well: black-and-white patterned clothes, grey-ash crew cuts, muscular builds, and short tempers.
The Honey Badger Syndicate. A decade ago, they had exploded onto the scene in Baihe City, carving a bloody path with sheer brutality. People were so terrified of them that for years, no one dared wear black and white on the streets. During the recent crackdowns, the boss was imprisoned and the mid-level gang leaders were wiped out, leaving only low-level lackeys to find other "work".
"What are you doing, sneaking around here?" the taller one asked. She was a female demon, flat-topped with ear studs, a scar near her eye, and the broad shoulders of an athlete.
"Why is this shop closed?" Zhou Xun asked.
"What's it to you!" the shorter male demon snapped. Compared to his partner, his eyes looked significantly more "clear and foolish".
Zhou Xun switched her focus to him. "Is the owner’s name Yang?"
"Mind your own business!" He was clearly defensive.
It seemed the remnants of the gang had found work as Black Market bodyguards. The plan to draw them out had worked. Zhou Xun pulled out her badge. "I'm with the Bureau of Demon Affairs. Do you know a man named Yang Yue?" She glanced up at the security camera.
The male demon’s expression wavered instantly. The female glared at the badge. "What about him?"
"He’s dead. We found his body on Mount He. We suspect his death is linked to a human named Zhang Guangjun. We need your cooperation."
"Zhang Guangjun? Him..." the male muttered before the female elbowed him into silence.
Shortly after, the heavy iron door of the antique shop creaked open. A refined, middle-aged man with a goatee stepped out. He wore a well-tailored suit, a prayer bead bracelet on his wrist, and was idly rotating two walnuts in his hand. His eyes had the tell-tale horizontal pupils of a goat demon.
"Yang Yue was my brother. I am Yang Zhong," he said, his face eerily calm.
"Please come with us."
"By what right?!" the two badger demons snarled.
Yang Zhong raised a hand to silence them. "Take me to see my brother’s body."
* * *
In the morgue, Yang Zhong lifted the white sheet. He looked at the broken horn and the scar on the left thigh. "It’s my brother. As a kid, he loved to fight so he had many scars."
It was the quietest identification Zhou Xun had ever witnessed.
Yang Zhong stared at the broken remains for a long time before gently pulling the sheet back up, pausing briefly as he covered the face. "Have you caught the one who killed Zhang Guangjun?"
"Not yet. We're investigating. We’ll need a statement from you. We want to know about the relationship between Yang Yue and Zhang Guangjun. Did you know they were in business together?"
Yang Zhong didn't answer. Instead, he asked, "Has Zhang Guangjun’s family come to identify him?"
For a split second, Zhou Xun caught a glimpse of something turbulent beneath his calm exterior. "They have. But the family is also under investigation. We'll be summoning them frequently."
Her meaning was clear: The family is under our protection. Don't even think about revenge.
Yang Zhong looked at her and smiled gently. "I meant nothing by it."
Just then, Captain Du came down to take Yang Zhong for questioning. As they headed into the interrogation room, Du Xingwang whispered to Zhou Xun, "I had Zhu Zhu check their contacts. They have four mutual connections—all employees of a demon crematorium."
"What?" Zhou Xun was stunned. Both humans and demons used cremation, but the methods differed. Deceased demons were burned with True Samādhi Fire to avoid... well, smelling like a barbecue. While humans left ashes, demons only left a Demon Core.
Are they trafficking cores? she wondered. That's incredibly depraved.
"I'll leave it to you," Zhou Xun said, her head spinning. Du Xingwang was the expert at handling people and demons alike. Though he’d once wanted to be a police dog, he’d decided he was better suited to being an "emotional support dog".
They shared a look and sighed. The serial killer was still at large, and now they had illegal contraband and a local gang to deal with. The cases were piling up, and they were hitting a wall. Plus, those two badger demons were still loitering outside the Bureau...
Could she just have one quiet day? To top it off, sting operation she left with Tang Na had failed. The contact for the Mermaid Tears had suddenly changed the meeting time.
By the time Zhou Xun finished at the Bureau, it was 9:30 PM. She hadn't eaten, but she was too tired to care. She just wanted to crawl into bed.
Then, a message arrived from Duan Zhiyan: [I’m heading back to the Divine Bureau tomorrow. I heard you’ve been working late—you must be starving. Want to grab a bite at the food stalls near your complex?]
The cold light of the screen reflected on her face. She was hungry. She glanced out the window but the Immortal Lord’s curtains were closed. She assumed he was resting. I hope my movements don't trigger his alarm, she thought.
She replied: [Sure. Should I go grab a table?]
The reply was instant: [No need. I’m downstairs.]
She walked to the window and pulled back the curtain. There was Duan Zhiyan in a grey tracksuit, looking up. He waved. She threw on a jacket and hurried down. After the rain, the late cherry blossoms were scattered across the ground like gold under the streetlights.
"It’s dangerous around here," Duan Zhiyan joked when she reached him.
"Why?" Zhou Xun asked, confused. This was the Bureau’s staff housing, it was the safest place in the city.
"I just finished a night run. There are temptation-filled BBQ stalls everywhere."
Zhou Xun laughed. They walked together over the fallen petals.
Suddenly, a leopard’s head peeked through a gap in the curtains above, watching them walk away. Shen Gongbao’s eyes glowed in the dark. He gnashed his teeth.
"Oh, very nice. Very nice indeed. Caught you red-handed!"
Translator's Note:
- Master Tang’s Hemorrhoids (唐长老的痔疮): A parody of the legend from Journey to the West, where eating the flesh of the Tang Monk grants immortality. This phrase is also a chinese idiomatic expression or slang, often used to describe a nagging, persistent, or recurring nuisance. Similar to a hemorrhoid, it is something that causes irritation, is difficult to completely get rid of, and makes one uncomfortable, yet is often endured rather than treated aggressively.
- Honey Badger Syndicate (猛鼬帮): In Chinese, You (鼬) refers to the weasel/mustelid family, which includes honey badgers. They are known for being fearless and aggressive.
- Samadhi Fire (真火): a mythical, inextinguishable flame originating from the Chinese literature Journey to the West.
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